“You’re fired” is arguably two of the scariest words ever strung together, a phrase that can send even the most confident individuals into a spiral of anxiety and uncertainty. I never thought I would hear those words, but I did this past year, and the experience was nothing short of a gut punch. I wasn’t alone in this struggle; countless others have shared similar stories, and the news is littered with accounts of layoffs and workforce reductions. The job market, as it stands, is a hot mess, complicating the efforts of professionals trying to build stable careers.

I had worked tirelessly, clawing my way out of what felt like hell, navigating the often treacherous waters of career advancement, and striving to solidify my career. I thought those words would never be uttered in my direction; my faith in my professional stability was steadfast. What a colossal miscalculation.

Love Lost

By thirty, I thought I would be blissfully married and creating a life of shared dreams and memories with my spouse. I envisioned a future filled with adventures and family. Another misjudgment on my part—thinking that love conquers all. I found a mythic love, a profound and unbreakable connection. We brought each other higher than any drug ever could, convinced that we would be inseparable forever. Yet, as time passed, reality set in—some things cost more than the happily ever after.

The cracks began to show when our aspirations clashed, and our expectations loomed heavier than anticipated. I realized that while love was a powerful force, it wasn’t enough to sustain us when life’s challenges started infiltrating our relationship. As we drifted apart, I found myself grappling with an unbearable sense of loss, loneliness, and sadness. But even in the depths of my despair, I chose to prioritize my happiness and growth. I leaned into the pain, allowing it to teach me invaluable lessons about myself and what I truly wanted from life.

Status Climber

Add being fired to a breakup, and what do you get? A perfect storm of emotional turmoil and uncertainty that leaves you reeling. Suddenly, I was accumulating status on airlines. Why? I started stalking my parents. Of course, they were living their busy lives, juggling responsibilities and their social calendars, but none of that mattered to me in those moments of distress. The evenings spent together laughing and relaxing became my refuge, my small oasis amid the chaos. My world had imploded, and I felt like I was flailing, searching for something steady to hold onto in the rubble. Sometimes, you must return to the beginning to find the next step.

My parents may have seemed oblivious to the fact that I was clinging to them like a lifeline, but in their laughter and shared stories, I found tiny fragments of solace. It reminded me that no matter how bleak things seemed, there was still light and joy to be discovered, even in the darkest times.

Letting Go

I had built a life where I was happy, but really, I was holding onto two things that I should have let go of months prior. When I finally let go, it was like a weight had been lifted. I was trying to make both things work and fit into my life when it was obvious to everyone but me that they were not working.

They say the higher you climb, the further you fall, and I fell—hard. But I realized I needed to fall to reflect and rebuild a life I actually wanted. Even though the uncertainty of the future can be daunting, it’s exciting. There is no longer a roadmap, but I can lean into the unknown and forge my own mythic future. I will, however, continue to stalk my parents.

So cheers to fear and the unknown. You drove me crazy, but finally, you woke me up.